Issue link: http://viewer.e-digitaleditions.com/i/85232
124: yourjourneys Fat, bald & 40! WORDS BY: Felicity Cantwell Every morning I awaken and smile. Still not often do I sleep through the night but the sleep that comes is more peaceful, no more flashing lights or the pounding of jungle drums in my head, as I lie there covered in sweat. My mind has a clarity that I never thought would return and I am always surprised and elated at the state of my bed hair. Although my body looks likes my nana's patchwork quilt, I guess it is a work of art. I am a two time offender for breast cancer; both breasts but different grades of cancer, the last diagnosis being the more serious. It has amazed me as to how important my boobs have become to me during my life. I remember embarking on puberty and praying to the boob fairy to please bring a lovely set. She did ok. I still remember my first training bra my mum bought me and I look at what I wear now and I have gone back in time as my bras are no longer what they used to be. I remember how proud of my boobs I was after the birth of my daughter and was shocked to see how big my breasts grew. I laugh when I look at the "chicken fillet" that now lies in my draw awaiting its placement in my bra. Then I shudder and smile, returning it to its hiding place for fear that my eight year old will take it to school for show and tell!! I often think cancer is like a pregnancy…. you get fat, your body changes, your brain is mush and you go through your trimesters, which include diagnosis and surgery, chemotherapy/ radiation, healing and recovery. Getting through each trimester is a huge mission as they are so different. I had three surgeries in three months, but didn't start with cancer. I had a fibroid the size of a baby's head and ended up having a hysterectomy. My cancer was diagnosed about five weeks later with my annual mammogram. After my last surgery I found myself not alone and subjected to toting around "little Betty bottle". There were many things that would just kind of pop up that I didn't expect, it's no wonder people refer to cancer as a journey because you just never know where you are going to end up!! Second trimester or 16 cocktails…. What I can say, I cried when I finished chemotherapy. I shaved my head prior to starting as I could not deal with my hair falling out. My children, bless them, would select my scarf every morning rather than die of embarrassment being seen with bald mum. My oldest daughter never asked me to drive her to school and was more than happy to walk the two blocks which had previously brought her so much unhappiness. I love to exercise, I instruct, I run, I ride but had to put the brakes on just a little. I still took a few of my own classes, and was given a membership from a local gym and