Issue link: http://viewer.e-digitaleditions.com/i/85232
I often think CANCER is like a PREGNANCY... you get fat, your body changes, your brain is mush and you go through your trimesters, which include diagnosis and surgery, chemotherapy/radiation, healing and recovery. would do a step or body balance class at least three times a week. I found this helped shift the chemo out of my body, but it also used to leave a few of the girls in the gym in awe at my super fast abilities at step. The steroids would make my legs go, go, go and often my mouth following behind. I felt quite strongly about not hiding my cancer even though I knew it would often make people feel uncomfortable. It was so important for me to prove that I wasn't contagious and that regardless of treatment etc I was still normal and that life is meant to be lived. The chemo did knock me around a little, but I remember my surgeon telling me to manage it and not the other way around. Best advice I had. I really did look forward to chemo days, not for the chemo, but for the laughter and the baking!! The chemo and cancer nurses I have met have definitely been placed on this earth to do what they do. They are such special people and offer so much care and friendship, they are masters in general conversation. They are leaders in our elite cancer, coffee and baking group and I always smile when I think about those days. My children didn't like the chemo unit, it was all a bit too real for them and I think scared them. It was hard dealing with their sadness and I feel so guilty for having to have made them go through this with me, but as women I am sure this will make them stronger when they are older. I tried to make light of the cancer and often without any guilt on my behalf would use it to my complete advantage. A little cough and splutter and it would get the dog walked. The biggest was the kid's bedrooms, and like magic they were tidy. I kept the cancer card tucked tightly in my pocket and was happy to use it when need be. I allowed my eight year old use of it once. She was being continually bullied at school by an older boy, whose family we knew. Quietly I handed her my magic card and told her to tell him if he didn't stop I would cough on him and share my germs. She was the happiest kid after school and he never spoke to her ever again. I do know his mum and I did tell what evolved and she laughed…phew!!! Apparently not only do I possess this magic card, but cancer also gives you magic powers. I have the ability to change the weather. Yep that's right. When the oncologist advised that I do not relax in the sun during or after treatment I was absolutely devastated. I have worshipped the sun for years and I wished it to be a not so sunny summer … and… Vavooom, I magicked it! I have wished for the winning lotto numbers but it has become obvious my powers are only for the weather. My fabulous partner, whom I have not mentioned, has held my hand through all of this. Every surgery I would awaken to his smiling face. We went through summer months together with our matching bald heads, and often laughed at the thought of the two of us holding hands walking down the street with our matching heads. He reassured me when I was sad about being in my 40's, fat and bald and would tell me he loves me no matter what. Now I look forward to him running his fingers through my curly locks and I smile knowing deep down he is jealous. The best part of having had cancer has been the rediscovery of me; starting each day feeling stronger, knowing that my soul and my spirit are healing and that each day has a purpose. I love getting out of the shower and towel drying my hair, applying mascara to my new eyelashes. I dread the thought of shaving my legs, but hey that's a small price to pay. I love that my head becomes clearer every day. The weight slowly peels away as the scars on my body fade. I feel so lucky to have had such amazing support around me; from family, friends and all the doctors and nurses. There is a life to be enjoyed every day and children's rooms to tidy!! Felicity Cantwell I tried to live each day as it came, accept what the doctors were telling me, take the treatment and feel that I was doing the best I possibly could to get through. Jo. Breast Cancer fighter