Issue link: http://viewer.e-digitaleditions.com/i/85232
120: yourjourneys Ko Wai Au Who Are You! WORDS BY: TRISTYN GRETTON PHOTOS BY: LOU KIBBY It was a Sunday evening and we were getting ready to go to a movie. I was taking my partner Errol, to see a movie with subtitles about a child struggling with leukemia. The family was caught up in the war torn Gaza strip… not really his cup of tea but he agreed to go. I was showering when I felt a small lump on the side of my breast the size of a pea. It didn't instantly worry me as my breasts were always lumpy and tender. I had been having yearly mammograms as a friend had lost her battle with breast cancer some years ago and it had been a priority to keep myself well checked. My last mammogram was eight months ago with no reported abnormalities. After sitting through a very emotional movie I could feel my brain sending me a message, "This is not a good sign!" My inner voice was telling me, "You have nothing to worry about. Breast cancer happens to other people not you!" That night I got home and emailed a friend, Bert Rauber who is a GP, telling him I had a lump in my breast and asked if he could have quick look. Bert turned out to be my life saver. He saw me at 9am Monday morning and told me I had another lump under my arm. He made an appointment for me to have a biopsy the next day and from there it was back to his office with my Mum and Errol to get the news. As I sat in the waiting room, I thought don't look at Bert's face you will know instantly if it's bad news. It's lucky he has a good 'game face' because I couldn't tell. He gave us the bad news, "You have breast cancer." My Mum cried, I tried to be staunch and Errol looked after us both. Bert then ran through the plan of attack and that was to get an appointment with my next saviour, Lou Hayes at Breastcare, Waikato Hospital. I had my first visit to Lou's office a week later, where we were welcomed with a hug and lovely smile. She outlined the process; I would have an MRI, then we would discuss options for removing the cancer. Her advice was to avoid the internet and if we had any questions, to ring or text her and she would answer them. My options were outlined; mastectomy or breast reconstruction, the choice was entirely mine, followed by chemo and radiotherapy. I knew instantly that I wanted a reconstruction, I couldn't live with one breast if I didn't have to. Lou warned me that the operation was a long procedure and not to be taken lightly. My thoughts at the time were, "How bad could it be? Let's just get on with it." The surgery was booked for 7 September. I had pushed my brain into a positive let's get it over and done with mode. The next step was to tell my three gorgeous girls. Laura the eldest (19) was at Massey University in Auckland doing a BA in Social Science, she has since transferred her degree to Wintec. The news was a shock to her and she cried. We had made an agreement 12 months earlier that we would always be truthful and honest with each other. She told me that holding back bad news from teenagers or young adults because we thought it would hurt their feeling was wrong, and said it makes them feel unworthy. Laura will make a great Social Worker! The two little girls, Elizabeth 10 and Isabel 6, were more accepting of the facts. They cried but were soon over it, asking what was on the menu for afternoon tea. Isabel (6) suffers from Alopecia, an auto -immune disease that rejects your hair follicle, so we would soon be looking the same with our bald heads. I emailed both of the girls' teachers to let them know the news. Our fabulous Office Administrator, Brenda at Hautapu School soon took charge of the dinner menu. This would be served for the three weeks it would take me to recover from the reconstruction. Hautapu School became our extended family, looking after the girls at school, and feeding and transporting them when they when they needed it. The night before the operation I lay in bed and cried. My sense of bravado had gone and I was scared but come morning, my bravado was back. My Mum and brother had arrived to accompany Errol, Laura and