Issue link: http://viewer.e-digitaleditions.com/i/85232
012: pinkfeature Sam died – a khaki skirt and matching shirt with a red trim. Ugly, but it was the 80s. I also remember what I wore to the breast clinic that day in July 2008. "Anyone who's had a mammogram, or in fact any examination involving women's bits, knows to wear a skirt or trousers and a top that can be easily removed. It gives you negotiating power to keep at least half your clothes on." After her initial request for a lumpectomy, Helen was told that because of the growth's size, her only option was a mastectomy. During the seven-and-a-half hour surgery Helen elected for a reconstruction to take place concurrently and later, she enlisted the help of a cosmetic tattooist who added colour into her newly built nipple. "My husband is eight years younger than me and I was nervous of the psychological impact of waking up to vast, empty space where my breast had been so I opted for a full reconstruction. In retrospect I'm glad that I had all the surgery at once because I wouldn't have had the courage to go back and do it all again." Throughout her experience (Helen hates the word journey) the former Auckland Star, Next magazine and provincial New Zealand newspaper columnist invited readers to join her through a series of diary entries. The steady flow of emails of encouragement from women from across the seas that had mastectomies and reconstructions of their own got her through many of her most trying times. "There was no grief counselling in those days so it was the letters from my readers that helped me through. For those who, when I had "ANYONE WHO'S HAD A MAMMOGRAM, OR IN FACT ANY EXAMINATION INVOLVING WOMEN'S BITS, KNOWS TO WEAR A SKIRT OR TROUSERS AND A TOP THAT CAN BE EASILY REMOVED. IT GIVES YOU NEGOTIATING POWER TO KEEP AT LEAST HALF YOUR CLOTHES ON." my children, would knit me baby cardigans and send them through the mail… it was because of them that I was inspired to write Cleo, a book that could possibly help parents that had lost children, people who had been through breast cancer and through all of the things I've been through. "At an event in Christchurch I had a person say to me, 'You're part of us' and I could think of no better compliment." Helen also speaks with gratitude towards the women from her Friday yoga classes ("They're a little circle of women that I draw tremendous strength from") and her sister, Mary who also battled breast cancer… and won. "I remember in her gentle voice, over the phone saying, 'You will not be alone in this. You just watch. A circle of women will form around you who have been there or know of someone who has been there and they will help carry you through this whole thing'. I remember thinking at the time, 'you've lived in New Plymouth your entire life, I have moved around a lot. You're lucky'. But she was right. It happened to me too. These terrible situations always have an upside." Another source of comfort was of course, her cat, Jonah (as in Lomu) who she also thanks Mary for. "Mary is my big sister and I will always take her advice. She nursed me after I came out of hospital and one day went for a walk when she happened to pass a pet store. Inside she found the most incredibly cute PICTURED FROM TOP: THE LAST EVER PHOTO TAKEN OF SAM (IN RED TEE SHIRT). SAM AND ROB OUTSIDE THEIR WELLINGTON HOUSE. CLEO CAUGHT CAT NAPPING WITH NINE-YEAR-OLD LYDIA. ROB AND SAM - BIRTHDAY CAKE TIME! A FAMILY HOLIDAY IN HAWAII (1991). ROB AND CHANTELLE ON THEIR WEDDING DAY. AN-ELDERLY CLEO WITH KATHARINE. ALL GROWN UP - NEARLY! SAM WITH RATA. HELEN'S WEDDING IN SWITZERLAND (1991). ROB AND CHANTELLE'S WEDDING IN JANUARY 2009.