Issue link: http://viewer.e-digitaleditions.com/i/85232
122: yourjourneys WORDS BY: SOPHIE JENKINS It was late June 2011; I had recently turned 21 and had a great day – paintballing with my mates then a huge party. I was living a busy life; working, hanging out with friends, hunting with my boyfriend, Adam, all the usual stuff. I've always been energetic and outgoing - your typical Kiwi girl. Life was good. I was performing my regular weekly breast check-up. We've always been really aware of the disease and know the importance of self- checks as my mother died of breast cancer when I was six and my grandmother also had the disease. Pre-diagnosis: Found the lump while in the shower and showed Adam who confirmed it was a lump. Surely at my age it would be nothing? It just had to be a cyst or some kind of irregularity… there was no way it could be cancer…could it? With my family history, I couldn't afford t uck around. It was straight to my GP who confirmed it was a lump and could be of concern. He referred me to a breast specialist and booked me in for a mammogram the following day. The mammogram was inconclusive as due to my age my breasts were too dense, so I had to undergo a biopsy just to be sure. I became a bit more concerned but everyone seemed confident that it was nothing. Adam came with me to biopsy; still no one seemed too worried as I was so young. Diagnosis: 18th July 2011 Adam came with me to the specialist to hear my results. I was not expecting Stage 1 Grade 2 breast cancer. They were not sure if it had spread and wouldn't know until operation. For the first time in my life I was afraid of dying and had the feeling that I wasn't in control of my own body. It was so weird. I was more worried about was soyoung I how Adam felt; there are not many young couples that are faced with something like this. But he was calm and just kept telling me, "You're going to be ok." So much was going through my mind; fear that Adam would leave me as I was going to lose my hair and my boobs and not be the same woman on the outside that he fell in love with. Was I going to suffer the same fate as my mother? Would I lose my breasts, my hair and maybe my life? I went straight from the specialist to see my older sister, Emma. Having to tell my family was hard. Telling Dad was the most difficult and I made Emma tell him. I was worried about how my dad felt as it must have been so tough for him to know he was going to watch his daughter go through the same thing as his wife. Decisions: Did I want a lumpectomy? Mastectomy? Both sides? Reconstruction? What type of treatment? What about side effects? Would I still be able to have children? I suddenly had huge decisions to make and had to make them fast. Within hours after diagnosis, I had made my decision that I wanted a bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction. I had health insurance which meant I could go private and not be on a waiting list of a public hospital. Within days I saw my plastic surgeon and again Adam came with me. As I am small, there was not enough tissue to do a typical reconstruction, so I looked at implants and booked my surgery just one week away. After making a date for surgery, I felt like a big weight had been lifted off my shoulders. All I wanted to do was get the cancer out of me. There are 11 other women who have had breast cancer in our family though only two, including my mother, have died from it. Not long after I was diagnosed, we got in contact with my mother's cousins who were fantastically supportive and gave us lots of information including details of the KConFab Familial Breast Cancer Research Centre in Auckland. My sister and I have enrolled as while we do not seem to have the BRCA gene mutation in the family, with so many women it is likely there is some sort of genetic effect occurring. Surgery: 29th July 2011 6am I went to Southern Cross QE in Rotorua and had operation. Five hours later, I woke up with a mask on my face. My first words were,