Issue link: https://viewer.e-digitaleditions.com/i/103334
checkin Five minutes with … Jesse Fink Michelle Hespe catches up with the writer whose new memoir, Laid Bare, recounts the break-up of his marriage, his attempts at online dating and his battle with obsessive-compulsive disorder. Do you want your daughter to read it? When his wife of 10 years, and the mother of his child, left him for another man in 2007, sports journo Jesse Fink was shattered. The Sydneysider started writing down how he felt, chronicling his darkest thoughts. The result is Laid Bare, a searingly honest and disturbing account of Fink's life that addresses themes such as the relevance of marriage, sex addiction, the experience of being a single father and the intrusion of social media into our lives. How did the book come into being? I wrote a short story for Marie Claire magazine about how it feels when your wife leaves you and I received so many letters from people who read it. There are so many books about how women deal with a separation, I wanted to tell the other side of the story. Were you concerned about what your family would think? It's my life and, sure, it does have other people's lives in it, but I did take certain precautions. I think everyone is entitled to tell their story, and I've done that as honestly as I could. She's 10 next year and, yes, I do want her to see it one day. I want her to know why her parents broke up and why (because of my OCD) I wasn't so connected to her sometimes. I want her to know that I tried to keep our family together. A young girl of 10 might not care or want to know, but a young woman of 16 or 18 might understand. You've been very honest about your OCD. We are perpetually distracted by new technology and social media. It's like going to a supermarket and not knowing what you want. You start to think, 'Actually, I'd like to go out with all of them!' I did that for four solid years. I was trying to get my wife's attention by sleeping with as many other women as possible. It turned out to be a very empty experience most of the time, but I never really gave up on the dream of winning my wife back. Jesse says: "There are so many books about how women deal with a separation, I wanted to tell the other side of the story." It's liberating to talk about it openly. The more I talk about it, the more other people talk about it. There are people out there who don't know they have OCD and they're terrified. They have no-one to talk to about it. I remember the relief when I was diagnosed – finally, putting a name to it. I am open to doing anything to spread awareness of OCD and help people to understand it. Is finding love easier online? It's definitely getting harder, but we're being sold the illusion that it's easier. Does your book have a message? Yes. Take risks. Put your integrity at a premium. Be true to yourself. Lead a full life – after all, it's the only one you've got. Oh, and it's okay to screw up occasionally. After everything you've been through, are you still a romantic at heart? I'm a complete romantic! It hasn't been beaten out of me, but I will probably never do online dating again! Ultimately, Laid Bare is a book about love, with some sex thrown in! 3